On Turning Ten

It really seems like Collins is trying to explain his saddness about the coming of age.  As a child I was so excited to have a Birthday and turn a year older, because I felt like I was getting more responcibily.  He seemed to see growing up as a sad thing. For example he says, that the sun was solumly fall against his house, but that it didn't when he was younger.  It seems to me like he is trying to explain that he used to see the sun falling on his tree house like a sign that a great day was over and that a new wonderful day would start again tomorrow.  Now it seems like he is saying that the day finally ended and that he wasn't looking forward to the next day.   I understand how he could say that he looses so many things, like imaginary friends, but I feel like as children get older they gain so much.

 When Collins talks about all of the things he believed as a ignorant little child it seems like he is longing to be back at that time.  He says that he felt like only yesterday he had thought that there was light under his skin and it seems to me that he is longing for have light under his skin and have a carefree world instead of the broken life he has. He seems to be saying that at the age of 10 ingnorance stops and lifes problems are dropped on your lap.
This poem effectivly shows a coming of age and the saddness and happiness of growing up.  It explains the saddness a person could have that they are loosing the experiences of a carefree childhood, but I also feel like it is a comparison to the things that can occur in adulthood.  I really think he has a negative attitude about growing up and that he is not looking at how much he has gained, only what he has lost.

Homeless

Claudia Smith

Period 3

4/13/12

Homeless

            Homeless is sleeping outside year round.  It’s being so cold in the winter that you can’t sleep and you shiver so hard you feel like an earthquake.  It’s being so hot and sticky in the summer that you can’t do anything.  It’s sitting outside in the rain and snow and sleet and hail.  But, it’s also sitting outside getting sun burnt and having the sun drain the little energy you have left.   It’s calling a rock your pillow and a park- bench your bed.    It’s using your coat that you got from the local church as a blanket and using an old pair of socks you found as gloves.  Being homeless can turn someone from a human being into something that is looked down upon. Homelessness makes people desperate.  It makes you do things you know is wrong, but do it anyways, just to survive.   

            Homelessness is sitting under a bridge and overhearing parents say terrible things about you to their kids.  It is knowing that you haven’t achieved everything you and your parents wanted for you.  It wishing you had changed your life when you were younger, but now it’s too late. Your only chance it to become famous, but yeah, like that will happen.  If you are lucky you find a job, but since you have no car you will probably continuously be late and get fired.  Back to square one. 

            Homeless is begging for money or food from complete strangers.   It is basing your next meal off the charity of others.  It is hoping that you find someone who will show you mercy and give you just enough to stay alive. It’s dumpster diving at fancy restaurants to get their extra food that they threw away.  It’s living in a dumpster just because it hold in heat better than the great outdoors.    It’s waiting in line all day to get into the local shelter, but them closing the doors when you are the next one to get it.  It’s waiting around to get food from the local food shelter, but them running out of food because the need is so great. 

            Homeless is “joining” the local cause, not because you believe in it, but because they hand out free food and drinks to their members.  It’s being at the mercy of others. 

            Homeless is being dirty.  It is taking a shower once a week, if you’re lucky. It’s taking baths in the local McDonalds in the sink.  It’s using ketchup and warm water to make tomato soup.    It’s having a serious disease and living with it, because you don’t have the money for a doctor or insurance.  It’s visibly being affected by an illness and having no one help you. 

 Homelessness is preventable. It takes privileged people stepping up and giving a crap about someone besides themselves.  It takes people giving up the $10 they were going to buy McDonalds with and giving it to a charity that helps others.  It takes people spending less time on the couch and more time at food shelters.  It takes people spending less time worrying about how they are going to charge their IPhone and more time worrying about whether others have food and a blanket. 

            I’m not saying that everyone should give up everything they have to make the world a homeless place, but I am saying that everyone deserves to have food and shelter and that with just a little bit from everyone we can make a dent in the problem. 

April 9th, 2012

Are there any fresh ideas enlisted in this definition? How would you have defined this idea? Are there ideas similar to it that you could choose to define?

There are allusions here: (1) to the musical Damn Yankees!, (2) to the Bible (the parable of the Good Samaritan), and (3) to a poem by Robert Frost. Do these allusions add anything to the essay or to your understanding of things? What if you didn't "get" the allusions?

What techniques of development does the essay use in the process of definition? Do you think the writer dwelt too long on what a Yankee is not before moving on to what a Yankee is?

Can you point to (write down) one sentence that functions as thesis statement in this essay?

My spring break was pretty good.  I really didn't go anywhere, but it was pretty relaxing.  I went to my Mom's school for a few days and helped kids with their projects.  I also went to the dentist. 

Over Easter Wesley, Mom, Dad and I went to Cleveland and went to the rock and roll hall of fame.  It was pretty cool.  We saw an inductees show which was my favorite part.  It was interesting to see all the old preformances from people that were inducted into the hall of fame so many years ago.  My favorite band that was there in the movie was probably Aerosmith. 

Then yesterday I went aqnd saw the Lorax with Dub which was pretty fun. 

I checked out my summer reading list from Chatham.  28 books all ovwer 300 pages.  I have to start reading soon to get them all finsihed.  I went to half price book store yesterday and got some of them, the ones we could find, and have started reading.  I thik that Dad and I figured out that I will need one book a week, which is kinda hard.  But not too bad.  I definitely think I can do that.

I just recently learned how to spell the word "definitely,"  

On Easter we went to a brunch which was really good and Wesley and I took a picture with the Easter bunny. 

A Modest Proposal

Jonathan Swift: A Modest Proposal

1) It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin doors, crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or six children, all in rags and importuning every passenger for an alms. These mothers, instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in strolling to beg sustenance for their helpless infants: who as they grow up either turn thieves for want of work, or leave their dear native country to fight for the Pretender in Spain, or sell themselves to the Barbadoes. 2) I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of children in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is in the present deplorable state of the kingdom a very great additional grievance; and, therefore, whoever could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of making these children sound, useful members of the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the public as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation. 3) But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the children of professed beggars; it is of a much greater extent, and shall take in the whole number of infants at a certain age who are born of parents in effect as little able to support them as those who demand our charity in the streets. 4) ”I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled ...” 5) As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in the computation. It is true, a child just dropped from its dam may be supported by her milk for a solar year, with little other nourishment; at most not above the value of 2s., which the mother may certainly get, or the value in scraps, by her lawful occupation of begging; and it is exactly at one year old that I propose to provide for them in such a manner as instead of being a charge upon their parents or the parish, or wanting food and raiment for the rest of their lives, they shall on the contrary contribute to the feeding, and partly to the clothing, of many thousands. 6) There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will prevent those voluntary abortions, and that horrid practice of women mu rdering their bastard children, alas! too frequent among us! sacrificing the poor innocent babes I doubt more to avoid the expense than the shame, which would move tears and pity in the most savage and inhuman breast. 7) The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million and a half, of these I calculate there may be about two hundred thousand couple whose wives are breeders; from which number I subtract thirty thousand couples who are able to maintain their own children, although I apprehend there cannot be so many, under the present distresses of the kingdom; but this being granted, there will remain an hundred and seventy thousand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand for those women who miscarry, or whose children die by accident or disease within the year. There only remains one hundred and twenty thousand children of poor parents annually born. The question therefore is, how this number shall be reared and provided for, which, as I have already said, under the present situation of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed. For we can neither employ them in handicraft or agriculture; we neither build houses (I mean in the country) nor cultivate land: they can very seldom pick up a livelihood by stealing, till they arrive at six years old, except where they are of towardly parts, although I confess they learn the rudiments much earlier, during which time, they can however be properly looked upon only as probationers, as I have been informed by a principal gentleman in the county of Cavan, who protested to me that he never knew above one or two instances under the age of six, even in a part of the kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that art. 8) I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl before twelve years old is no salable commodity; and even when they come to this age they will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half-a-crown at most on the exchange; which cannot turn to account either to the parents or kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at least four times that value. I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection. 9) I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout. 10) I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the hundred and twenty thousand children already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one-fourth part to be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine; and my reason is, that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old, be offered in the sale to the persons of quality and fortune through the kingdom; always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump and fat for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter. 11) I have reckoned upon a medium that a child just born will weigh 12 pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, increaseth to 28 pounds. I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children. Infant's flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful in March, and a little before and after; for we are told by a grave author, an eminent French physician, that fish being a prolific diet, there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about nine months after Lent than at any other season; therefore, reckoning a year after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because the number of popish infants is at least three to one in this kingdom: and therefore it will have one other collateral advantage, by lessening the number of papists among us. 12) I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar's child (in which list I reckon all cottagers, laborers, and four-fifths of the farmers) to be about two shillings per annum, rags included; and I believe no gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat child, which, as I have said, will make four dishes of excellent nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend or his own family to dine with him. Thus the squire will learn to be a good landlord, and grow popular among his tenants; the mother will have eight shillings net profit, and be fit for work till she produces another child. 13) Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen. 14) As to our city of Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose in the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will not be wanting; although I rather recommend buying the children alive, and dressing them hot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs. 15) A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtues I highly esteem, was lately pleased in discoursing on this matter to offer a refinement upon my scheme. He said that many gentlemen of this kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want of venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age nor under twelve; so great a number of both sexes in every country being now ready to starve for want of work and service; and these to be disposed of by their parents, if alive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with due deference to so excellent a friend and so deserving a patriot, I cannot be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the males, my American acquaintance assured me, from frequent experience, that their flesh was generally tough and lean, like that of our schoolboys by continual exercise, and their taste disagreeable; and to fatten them would not answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think, with humble submission be a loss to the public, because they soon would become breeders themselves; and besides, it is not improbable that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice (although indeed very unjustly), as a little bordering upon cruelty; which, I confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection against any project, however so well intended. But in order to justify my friend, he confessed that this expedient was put into his head by the famous Psalmanazar, a native of the island Formosa, who came from thence to London above twenty years ago, and in conversation told my friend, that in his country when any young person happened to be put to death, the executioner sold the carcass to persons of quality as a prime dainty; and that in his time the body of a plump girl of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison the emperor, was sold to his imperial majesty's prime minister of state, and other great mandarins of the court, in joints from the gibbet, at four hundred crowns. Neither indeed can I deny, that if the same use were made of several plump young girls in this town, who without one single groat to their fortunes cannot stir abroad without a chair, and appear at playhouse and assemblies in foreign fineries which they never will pay for, the kingdom would not be the worse. 16) Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast number of poor people, who are aged, diseased, or maimed, and I have been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken to ease the nation of so grievous an encumbrance. But I am not in the least pain upon that matter, because it is very well known that they are every day dying and rotting by cold and famine, and filth and vermin, as fast as can be reasonably expected. And as to the young laborers, they are now in as hopeful a condition; they cannot get work, and consequently pine away for want of nourishment, to a degree that if at any time they are accidentally hired to common labor, they have not strength to perform it; and thus the country and themselves are happily delivered from the evils to come. 17) I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and many, as well as of the highest importance. For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the number of papists, with whom we are yearly overrun, being the principal breeders of the nation as well as our most dangerous enemies; and who stay at home on purpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to the Pretender, hoping to take their advantage by the absence of so many good protestants, who have chosen rather to leave their country than stay at home and pay tithes against their conscience to an episcopal curate. Secondly, The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own, which by law may be made liable to distress and help to pay their landlord's rent, their corn and cattle being already seized, and money a thing unknown. 18) Thirdly, Whereas the maintenance of an hundred thousand children, from two years old and upward, cannot be computed at less than ten shillings a-piece per annum, the nation's stock will be thereby increased fifty thousand pounds per annum, beside the profit of a new dish introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom who have any refinement in taste. And the money will circulate among ourselves, the goods being entirely of our own growth and manufacture. 19) Fourthly, The constant breeders, beside the gain of eight shillings sterling per annum by the sale of their children, will be rid of the charge of maintaining them after the first year. Fifthly, This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns; where the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best receipts for dressing it to perfection, and consequently have their houses frequented by all the fine gentlemen, who justly value themselves upon their knowledge in good eating: and a skilful cook, who understands how to oblige his guests, will contrive to make it as expensive as they please. 20) Sixthly, This would be a great inducement to marriage, which all wise nations have either encouraged by rewards or enforced by laws and penalties. It would increase the care and tenderness of mothers toward their children, when they were sure of a settlement for life to the poor babes, provided in some sort by the public, to their annual profit instead of expense. We should see an honest emulation among the married women, which of them could bring the fattest child to the market. Men would become as fond of their wives during the time of their pregnancy as they are now of their mares in foal, their cows in calf, their sows when they are ready to farrow; nor offer to beat or kick them (as is too frequent a practice) for fear of a miscarriage. 21) Many other advantages might be enumerated. For instance, the addition of some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barreled beef, the propagation of swine's flesh, and improvement in the art of making good bacon, so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs, too frequent at our tables; which are no way comparable in taste or magnificence to a well-grown, fat, yearling child, which roasted whole will make a considerable figure at a lord mayor's feast or any other public entertainment. But this and many others I omit, being studious of brevity. Supposing that one thousand families in this city, would be constant customers for infants flesh, besides others who might have it at merry meetings, particularly at weddings and christenings, I compute that Dublin would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses; and the rest of the kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) the remaining eighty thousand. 22) I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against this proposal, unless it should be urged, that the number of people will be thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and 'twas indeed one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the reader will observe, that I calculate my remedy for this one individual Kingdom of Ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, I think, ever can be upon Earth. Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of taxing our absentees at five shillings a pound: Of using neither cloaths, nor houshold furniture, except what is of our own growth and manufacture: Of utterly rejecting the materials and instruments that promote foreign luxury: Of curing the expensiveness of pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in our women: Of introducing a vein of parsimony, prudence and temperance: Of learning to love our country, wherein we differ even from Laplanders, and the inhabitants of Topinamboo: Of quitting our animosities and factions, nor acting any longer like the Jews, who were murdering one another at the very moment their city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell our country and consciences for nothing: Of teaching landlords to have at least one degree of mercy towards their tenants. Lastly, of putting a spirit of honesty, industry, and skill into our shop-keepers, who, if a resolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods, would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price, the measure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just dealing, though often and earnestly invited to it. 23) Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like expedients, 'till he hath at least some glympse of hope, that there will ever be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them into practice. 24) But, as to my self, having been wearied out for many years with offering vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of success, I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which, as it is wholly new, so it hath something solid and real, of no expence and little trouble, full in our own power, and whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging England. For this kind of commodity will not bear exportation, and flesh being of too tender a consistence, to admit a long continuance in salt, although perhaps I could name a country, which would be glad to eat up our whole nation without it. 25) After all, I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion as to reject any offer proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy, and effectual. But before something of that kind shall be advanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire the author or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. First, as things now stand, how they will be able to find food and raiment for an hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly, there being a round million of creatures in human figure throughout this kingdom, whose whole subsistence put into a common stock would leave them in debt two millions of pounds sterling, adding those who are beggars by profession to the bulk of farmers, cottagers, and laborers, with their wives and children who are beggars in effect: I desire those politicians who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold as to attempt an answer, that they will first ask the parents of these mortals, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness to have been sold for food, at a year old in the manner I prescribe, and thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes as they have since gone through by the oppression of landlords, the impossibility of paying rent without money or trade, the want of common sustenance, with neither house nor clothes to cover them from the inclemencies of the weather, and the most inevitable prospect of entailing the like or greater miseries upon their breed for ever. 26) I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the public good of my country, by advancing our trade, providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving some pleasure to the rich. I have no children by which I can propose to get a single penny; the youngest being nine years old, and my wife past child-bearing. The End Note: Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), author and satirist, famous for Gulliver's Travels (1726) and A Modest Proposal (1729). This proposal, where he suggests that the Irish eat their own children, is one of his most drastic pieces. He devoted much of his writing to the struggle for Ireland against the English hegemony. Questions to Answer on your blog: WE WILL WORK MONDAY IN CLASS AS WELL!   1. “A Modest Proposal” is an ironic essay: the author deliberately writes what he does not mean.  What is the real thesis?  Is there more than one?  Swift is mocking the English political/cultural invasion of Ireland.  On a deeper level, the "modest" proposal is also a stab at the soulless, utilitarian aspects of enlightened thinking.     2. Look closely at paragraphs 4, 6, and 7, and study how the appeals to logic are put in mathematical and economic terms.  Underline those words and phrases. ~ The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million and a half ~ of these I calculate there may be about two hundred thousand couple whose wives are breeders; from which number I subtract thirty thousand couples who are able to maintain their own children 3. When does the reader begin to realize that the essay is ironic?  Before or after the actual proposal is made in paragraph 10? I would say before the proposal in paragraph 10, because the numbers in paragraph 7 seem to be trying to pursuede the readers.    4. Which groups of people are singled out as special targets for Swifts’ attack?  Are the Irish presented completely as victims, or are they also to blame? To me it seems like the Irish were presented as the total victim, which I think is odd, because it seemed to me like they almost instigated the problem.   5. Does the essay merely function as a satirical attack?  Does Swift ever present any serious proposals for improving conditions?  If so, where? Basically to make fun of people who want to give free handouts to people.   I really think that most everything her said was satirical and that he really didn't make any serious suggestions.   6. What is the purpose of the last paragraph? 7. The character proposing the measure uses various techniques to convince. These include statistics and appeals to the authority of prominent figures. Can you spot any others? Have you done any sort of "labor" job? Did you resist your employer and, if you did, what forms did your resistance take?  Is there a strong link between humor, anger, or other emotional states and resistance? Can you give examples of things you did to vent frustration (particularly if they were funny?) Throughout history there have been many examples of civil disobedience and they generally use the technique of getting people to feel sorry for them.   8. If you were, conversely, given the job of marketing babies, do you think it could be done, and how? We have a tradition, in English, of keeping the French names for the meats of animals eaten primarily by the rich. Would the first step be calling baby meat something French? Would it be by processing the baby to the point of non-recognition? I really don't think it could be done.

Why I Want a Wife

Why I Want a Wife: SATIRE

Why I Want a Wife- Judy Brady (Syfers)

READ THE FOLLOWING:

I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife.
And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.

Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh
from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his
ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I
was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that 1, too, would
like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically
independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent
upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I
am going to school, I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a
wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And
to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat
properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's
clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant
attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure
that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to
the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when
they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need
special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My
wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean
a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can
tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care
of the children while my wife is working.

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife
who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children,
a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes
clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that
my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what
I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife
who is a good cook.  I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the
necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and
then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will
care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time
from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation
so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a
rest and change of scene.
I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a
wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the
need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course
studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have
written them.

I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life.
When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will
take care of the baby-sitting arrangements. When I meet people at school
that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house
clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and
not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I
want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready
for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I
want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel
comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are
passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the
food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their
coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows
that sometimes I need a night out by myself.

I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes
love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure
that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand
sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who
assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not
want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me
so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies.
And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more
than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate
to people as fully as possible.
If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the
wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with
another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will
take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit
working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely
take care of a wife's duties.

My God, who wouldn't want a wife?

Author: Judy Brady (Syfers)ANSWER THE FOLLOWING ON YOUR BLOG

1. Does this essay have an explicitly stated thesis? If so, what is it? If you believe the thesis is implied, paraphrase it in your own words.

I really believe that the message that the author is actually saying is definitely not the message she is trying to get across.  She is talking about how she wants someone to do this for her, but I believe that she really is just stating what men want women to do for them. 

 2. Throughout the essay, Brady repeats the words “I want a wife.” What is the effect of this repetition?

I believe that she is repeating those words, because she wants people to know that a wife (woman) are expected to do all the things she is saying.  It's aher way of expressing the fact that a good wife is almost required to do these things.

3. Do you think Brady really wants the kind of wife she describes—does this ideal spouse

actually exist? Explain why you think Brady wrote this essay.

I think she wrote this essay to show how unrealistic it is to have a perfect wife.  As she talks about all the things a wife is "supposed" to do, she seems like she is making the point that it truely is impossible to find someone that can or really will want to do all those things.  I definitely don't think Brady wants to be this kind of wife. 

4. How does Brady define what it means to be a “wife”? How does she organize the many services a wife provides her husband and family? What do you think of Brady’s characterization of a wife and her responsibilities? How do you think she wants her readers to respond to this characterization? Why?Brady organizes a wife's duties around what the husband would need to live a great life.  She doesn't really talk about what the wife does for herself to live a comfortable life. 

5. Write a letter to Brady responding to “I Want a Wife.” Let her know what you admire or don’t admire about the essay and the extent to which you consider it effective and/or persuasive.

Dear Ms. Brady,

I actually really like this article.  It makes me think of a song by Tammy Wynette called Stand By Your Man. 

Sometimes its hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand

But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man

Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely

Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

The song makes fun of how men feel like they don't have to stay true to one woman, but how they feel like women need to be faithful to one man. I really like how you are showing the double standard set by men.  I really think this article is a call to action for woman, to first of all not be the perfect wife and do all these things, but also to change the sterotype that men have set for women. 

I admire the fact that during such a time when people were not really talking about Woman's Rights, you had the courage to speak your mind and share the inequalities you saw.  I also really like how you kind of trick people into thinking you were talking about how women should be more faithful and helpful to men, but really you were writing a political paper discussing the problems in society. 

I don't really know if the people in the 50's understood what you were talking about, but I feel like both men and woman liked your article, but for completely different reasons.  Because men are stupid, I bet they completely agreed with the article and talked about it in the sense that "There's a woman who really knows her place and gets things right in the world!"  The probably all laughed and joked about how they all wished their wives could be as great as you are and then they probably all farted and scratched themselves.  But the woman were most likely empowered by your article, because it truely showed the life that men wanted women to live.  This article said it all black and white.  I'm sure women looked at this article and checked things off the list that they did, not even realizing they were being taken advantage of. 

Thank you for writing this article and revealing to both men and women the true inequalities woman had to face in not only in the 50's but still today.

Sincerely,

Claudia Smith

Satirized Story

Claudia Smith
period 3
2/27/12

Satirized Fairytale

The Three Little Pigs

“Good bye Mother, we’ll miss you!” The three little pigs hollered behind them, waving and smiling, as they left their mother’s house to go and make lives for themselves.

“Be careful,” she cried after them, holding in the tears.  “And don’t talk to any strangers!”

They all left to go their separate ways.

The first pig, walking down the road, came across a man selling straw and decided to built a house with it.  He built a home as lovely as a peacock when it's feathers are spread, and was very happy for many years.  He met a beautiful girl pig, named Miss Piggy and they lived happily ever after.  

The second pig, walking down the road, came across a field of beautiful flowers.  He and his partner, Porky, decide to stop.  They frolicked for hours through the wild daisies and sunflowers.  After a while they became very tired and had to stop and rest.  After a nice rest in the field of flowers, they decided  they would to build a beautiful home out of something they loved and quickly gathered enough flowers to build a whole house.

The third pig, being a girl, was much smarter than the first two and had gotten a job and a college education.  She decided to have a self serving life, before she got married or bought a house.  Finally after a few years she found the man of her dreams.  His name was Wilber and they were in love.  The first thing she had learned in college was to build a strong house, and that was exactly what she planned to do.  She found a man that sold bricks and she and Wilbur built a house that was strong enough to withstand anything.  They lived very happy lives and felt safe and sound. 

One day a big bad wolf was passing through town.

He went up to the house of the first pigs.

 “Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!” the wolf cried.

“Oh no, no, no, please no!” Miss. Piggy wined back at him.

“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!”  The wolf screamed back at them. 

“WOOOOOOOOSH!” and the house went tumbling down. Miss. Piggy and her husband went running to their other brother’s house, the wolf following close behind.

As the wolf approached the second house he shouted again, “Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!”

Miss Piggy, getting more nervous and scared screamed in a high pitch voice, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down.”  The wolf replied. 

“WOOOOOSH!” and the house went tumbling down.

Porky, under his breath whispered, “That’s all folks.”

 Little did the wolf know that parts of the house was made of poppies and he fell into a deep sleep, giving the four pigs time to escape to their sister’s house.  When he woke up and got resituated he remembered that he was searching for some the pigs.  He ran to the third pig’s house. 

When he finally got their, he screamed in his most terrifying voice “Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!”

Wilber, being such a kind and polite pig, replied through the door, “Salutations.”

“Salu-what?” replied the wolf.

“Salutations,” Wilbur repeated. “It’s a fancy way of saying hello.” 

“I don’t have time for this,” the wolf replied, getting more and more angry. “If you don’t let me in, I will huff and puff and blow the house dow… wait, instead I will just come in,” the wolf said looking down and noticing that the house had no lock. 

Then suddenly Charlotte jumped out and tired to keep the door closed with her silky web, but the wolf was too strong.     

He barged into house and found all six pigs cowering in fear in the corner.  He walked up to all of them and said in his low terrifying voice, “I got terribly lost and I need a place to sleep tonight.”

The pigs all stared in disbelief.

The wolf tried to explain himself, “I was riding on my magic carpet off to never land, and just around the river bend I came across a crazy old lady who tried to give me an apple, but I said no, so she pricked her finger and fell fast asleep, so I ran away.  I hadn’t gotten far when I met the most beautiful girl, with red hair.  I tired to ask what he name was, but she wouldn’t tell me, she and her crab were very rude.  I kept flying and then I came upon a glass shoe, but a huge and wild beast took it away from me.  Now I am turned all which way and I don’t know where to go.  Can I stay with you please?

Completely surprised by the wolf’s story, then six pigs agreed to let him stay with them.

“This is awesome,” the wolf replied.  “We can stay up late swapin’ stories ‘til the mornin’, I’m making waffles.”

James Thurber Fables

The Little Girl and the Wolf
I really liked this, because it was pretty funny. It was a weird twist on Little Red Riding Hood.  It is true, that now a days people are more careful and wouldn't be as studpid as the real Little Red Riding Hood story was.  It surprised me that she took out a gun, even though that makes much more sense for today's time. 


The Bear
This story didn't really remind me of any other story, but I did like it.  It was alarming when the father bear was drinking all the time, but I was slightly uplifted when he stopped.  It made me laugh when he started doing the same things again, but called it more healthy.  It is completely untrue that what he was doing the second time was more healthy. 


The Princess and the Tin Box
I actually didn't like this fable as much, because I felt like it was really just mean.  I think that while some people are very shallow, not everyone is.  I think it is terrible that the Princess picked the most precious gift, because that's not how fairytales are supposed to work.  The story should really end with her picking the gift of the person she loved, which should have been the guy who brought the minerals in the tin box.  It irritates me when fairytales work out the wrong way. 

Fables and Fairytales

Fables:

1. A rooster finds a precious jewel, but it has no use to him.  He decides that he would rather have food, then a jewel that has no use to him.  Moral of Aesops Fable: Be content with your life.

2.  The pond that the frogs live in dried up.  And so they decided to try to find another place.  They found a deep weel that they could live in.  One of the frogs was hesitant, because he was worried that they might not be able to get out of the well if it dried up. 

Moral of Aesops Fable: Do nothing without a regard to the consequences.

3. There was a sick deer, and his friends ate all his food.  He died, not because of hisd illiness, but because he had bad friends.  Moral of Aesops Fable: Evil companions bring more hurt than profit.

4. This lion and cow were getting a drink and fighting over who should drink first.  They were going to fight, until they saw vultures coming to eat whoever died. They decided to not fight and to be friends, so neither of them got eaten by the vultures.  Moral of Aesops Fable: Those who strive are often watched by others who will take advantage of their defeat to benefit themselves.

5. An old guy was dying, he told his sons to bring in a bundle of sticks.  Then he told them to break all of them together, but they couldn't.  When they broke them all individually, they could.  Moral of Aesops Fable: Union gives strength.

6. This guy coukldn't get the fish to dance, until he captured the fish and forced them to dance.  Moral of Aesops Fable: When you are in a man's power you must do as he bids you.

7. This deer was so proud of his antlers, but had very weak feet.  Then one day his antlers got caught and he could not run away from the lion.  Moral of Aesops Fable: What is most truly valuable is often underrated.

8. One pot was made of a hard metal and the other pot was very soft.  When they went down the river, whether to soft pot hit the hard or the hard hit the soft, the soft would parish.  Moral of Aesops Fable: The strong and the weak cannot keep company.

9. A mom crab was nagging at a little crab about how it walked.  But the little crab told the mom to walk the right way and that he would follow her example.  Moral of Aesops Fable: Example is the best precept.

10. A peacock wated to have a nice voice and be beautiful, but the "Gods" told him no, because he couldn't be the best at everything. Moral of Aesops Fable: Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.

Fairytales: 

1. Cinderella:  A girl has a really crappy life cleaning and cooking for her stepmother and two stepsisters.  They are so mean to her and won't let her go to the ball.  But then a fairy coomes and makes her adress and a carriage, so she can go to the ball.  She dances with the prince and they fall in love.  She has to run away at midnight, the prince tried to find out who she was, but she would not tell him.  Then later the prince's gaurd came to find her.  The stepmother was being mean and the fairy came to prove to everyone that Cinderella was the real Princess.  They all lived happily ever after. 

2. Little Red Riding Hood:  This girl was going on a day trip to see her Grandmother.  She found strawberries on the way and picked them for her.  She didn't know, but two big wolf eyes were starring at her.  Then the wolf came out to talk to her and found out about where she was going.  Then the wolf went and disguised itself as the Grandma.  It scared LLRH.  Then a hunter came and killed the wolf and the Grandma came back.  Then the mom came looking for LLRH and found her at the Grandma's house and they all three had a little family reunion.