Friday, January 27, 2012


Editing Questions: Narrative

After doing the checklist for your partner, answer the follow in this format:


Name of Reviewed Individual:

1. What are the strengths of your partner’s essay? Why? 
Eli used very vivid word choices that allowed him to be able directly paint a picture in the reader's mind of exactly how the characters were seeing, but also how they are feeling. 
2. What areas could use improvements? In other words, what suggestions can you give
your partner that will help his/her paper improve?
Some of the phrasing in Eli's narrative is a bit imcomplete and almost doesn't make sense. I think he should make sure what he is saying is appropriate and makes snese. 
3. What is your favorite literary device used in your partner’s essay?
Foreshadowing


4. What is the part of the paper that stands out as the most "catchy" or important?
The first paragraph is very exciting.  I like how it draws in the reader and almost scares them, and really makes them want to continue reading the rest of the narrative. 


Find out your partner's email or blog and post these answers or send these answer to them as well!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

A Good Narrative:

A good narrative:
bulletinvolves readers in the story. 
It is much more interesting to actually recreate an incident for readers than to simply tell about it.
bulletrelates events in sequence. The creation of specific scenes set at actual times and in actual places. Show, don't tell. Re-create an event by setting it in a specific time and space.
bulletincludes detailed observations of people, places, and events.
Do you recall sights, sounds, smells, tactile feelings, and tastes? Use actual or re-created dialogue? Give actual names of people and places.
bulletpresents important changes, contrasts, or conflicts and creates tension.
Do you grow from change? Is there a conflict between characters? Is there a contrast between the past and the present?
bulletis told from a point of view--usually the author's point of view.
bulletfocuses on connection between past events, people, or places and the present. How relevant is the event today? How relevant will it be in your future?
bulletmakes a point, communicates a main idea or dominant impression.Your details, specific scenes, accounts of changes or conflicts, and connections between past and present should point to a single main idea or dominant impression for your paper as a whole. While not stating a flat "moral" of the story, the importance of your memory must be clear to your reader.

Look back through your narrative: answer on your blog the questions or statements of each bullet point as it relates to your own narrative.  After reading the piece on EMPATHY, think about some ways that you can change your narrative.  We will be revising tomorrow along with peer editing!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Helen Keller

Narrative Essay-Helen Keller



The Story of My Life
Helen Keller
Part I. The Story of My Life
Chapter IV
The most important day I remember in all my life is the one on which my teacher, Anne Mansfield Sullivan, came to me. I am filled with wonder when I consider the immeasurable contrasts between the two lives which it connects. It was the third of March, 1887, three months before I was seven years old.
On the afternoon of that eventful day, I stood on the porch, dumb, expectant. I guessed vaguely from my mother's signs and from the hurrying to and fro in the house that something unusual was about to happen, so I went to the door and waited on the steps. The afternoon sun penetrated the mass of honeysuckle that covered the porch, and fell on my upturned face. My fingers lingered almost unconsciously on the familiar leaves and blossoms which had just come forth to greet the sweet southern spring. I did not know what the future held of marvel or surprise for me. Anger and bitterness had preyed upon me continually for weeks and a deep languor had succeeded this passionate struggle.
Have you ever been at sea in a dense fog, when it seemed as if a tangible white darkness shut you in, and the great ship, tense and anxious, groped her way toward the shore with plummet and sounding-line, and you waited with beating heart for something to happen? I was like that ship before my education began, only I was without compass or sounding-line, and had no way of knowing how near the harbour was. "Light! give me light!" was the wordless cry of my soul, and the light of love shone on me in that very hour.
I felt approaching footsteps. I stretched out my hand as I supposed to my mother. Some one took it, and I was caught up and held close in the arms of her who had come to reveal all things to me, and, more than all things else, to love me.
The morning after my teacher came she led me into her room and gave me a doll. The little blind children at the Perkins Institution had sent it and Laura Bridgman had dressed it; but I did not know this until afterward. When I had played with it a little while, Miss Sullivan slowly spelled into my hand the word "d-o-l-l." I was at once interested in this finger play and tried to imitate it. When I finally succeeded in making the letters correctly I was flushed with childish pleasure and pride. Running downstairs to my mother I held up my hand and made the letters for doll. I did not know that I was spelling a word or even that words existed; I was simply making my fingers go in monkey-like imitation. In the days that followed I learned to spell in this uncomprehending way a great many words, among them pinhatcup and a few verbs like sitstand and walk. But my teacher had been with me several weeks before I understood that everything has a name.
One day, while I was playing with my new doll, Miss Sullivan put my big rag doll into my lap also, spelled "d-o-l-l" and tried to make me understand that "d-o-l-l" applied to both. Earlier in the day we had had a tussle over the words "m-u-g" and "w-a-t-e-r." Miss Sullivan had tried to impress it upon me that "m-u-g" is mug and that "w-a-t-e-r" iswater, but I persisted in confounding the two. In despair she had dropped the subject for the time, only to renew it at the first opportunity. I became impatient at her repeated attempts and, seizing the new doll, I dashed it upon the floor. I was keenly delighted when I felt the fragments of the broken doll at my feet. Neither sorrow nor regret followed my passionate outburst. I had not loved the doll. In the still, dark world in which I lived there was no strong sentiment or tenderness. I felt my teacher sweep the fragments to one side of the hearth, and I had a sense of satisfaction that the cause of my discomfort was removed. She brought me my hat, and I knew I was going out into the warm sunshine. This thought, if a wordless sensation may be called a thought, made me hop and skip with pleasure.

Helen Keller at the age of seven, 1887
We walked down the path to the well-house, attracted by the fragrance of the honeysuckle with which it was covered. Some one was drawing water and my teacher placed my hand under the spout. As the cool stream gushed over one hand she spelled into the other the word water, first slowly, then rapidly. I stood still, my whole attention fixed upon the motions of her fingers. Suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten--a thrill of returning thought; and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew then that "w-a-t-e-r" meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it light, hope, joy, set it free! There were barriers still, it is true, but barriers that could in time be swept away.*
I left the well-house eager to learn. Everything had a name, and each name gave birth to a new thought. As we returned to the house every object which I touched seemed to quiver with life. That was because I saw everything with the strange, new sight that had come to me. On entering the door I remembered the doll I had broken. I felt my way to the hearth and picked up the pieces. I tried vainly to put them together. Then my eyes filled with tears; for I realized what I had done, and for the first time I felt repentance and sorrow.
I learned a great many new words that day. I do not remember what they all were; but I do know that mother, father, sister, teacher were among them--words that were to make the world blossom for me, "like Aaron's rod, with flowers." It would have been difficult to find a happier child than I was as I lay in my crib at the close of that eventful day and lived over the joys it had brought me, and for the first time longed for a new day to come.


Answer the following:
1. What did you think of this narrative?  I really liked the narrative, becauseI enjoy reading success stories.  Helen went from knowing nothing, to learning everything.   



2. What was most interesting or engaging about it?
The most interesting part of the narrative to me was how Ann Sullivan didn't give up.  I think it would have been very easy for her to give up after Helen broke the doll, because at that point of the story, it didn't seem like Helen would ever learn.
  3. What surprised you?It surprised me when Helen felt bad for breaking the doll.  I really think it was a huge breakthrough for her and that her new found feelings really helped her to want to begin to learn.  So I really think that  her understanding that objects had names was important.   I think that Helen feeling that she was responcible for breaking the doll was surprising, because she hadn't felt remorse before that. 
 4. Did this change your outlook on Helen Keller at all? Why or why not?I think we read this narrative middle school, so my outlook was not really changed on Helen Keller, but I think that reading the narrative changed my outlook on people with senses disabilities.  I guess it shows me and other people (with or without disabilities) that they can ahieve great things in life. 


5. Copy and paste three examples of vivid detail and imagery that helped enhance the story. ~  ~  I felt my way to the hearth and picked up the pieces. I tried vainly to put them together. Then my eyes filled with tears; for I realized what I had done, and for the first time I felt repentance and sorrow.  ~ I knew then that "w-a-t-e-r" meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it light, hope, joy, set it free!   ~ I was like that ship before my education began, only I was without compass or sounding-line, and had no way of knowing how near the harbour was. "Light! give me light!" was the wordless cry of my soul, and the light of love shone on me in that very hour.
6. How can a narrative be more engaging than something like a biography?
A narrative can be more engaging than a biography, because it explains how the person felt and it is told from a first person account.  Narratives create a more personal connection  between the reader and the person in the story and almost allow the reader to feel as if they are walking in the character's shoes.  I view biographies as more factual and less personal. 
Why is it important to get someone's personal perspective?It is important to get someone's personal prespective, because it helps the reader really feel what the character went through.  Also I think it humbles the reader, because it shows them the challenges the charaxcter went through and how he or she overcame them.


 
7. Make a bullited lists of some things you could write a narrative about.
 ~ learning to swim
~
learning to play water polo
~ When I got stitches
~ Going to Austrailia
~ Travelling out West

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Where I'm From:

Where I’m from:
I am from the music that will fill my life forever.
From the church songs I learned as a kid,
to the music I teach to the children of the church today.
From the summer camps where I sang around the fire
 and the endless memories of singing  with my family.
I am from the school choirs and church choirs
and singing in the car with my mom,
the words of Johnny Cash filling the air.
I am from the dirt on our bare feet in the evenings of summer,
where football and foursquare and soccer took place.
 I’m from the hours of ghost in the graveyard and freeze tag
and evenings filled with catching fire flies. 
 I am from creaking in the river at High Banks
and spending evenings wading into the Olentangy. 
I am from trips to Austrailia and crusies to Bermuda
from family vacations to the beach and WFSI trips out west. 
I am from hiking and swimming and running 
From horse back riding,  rock climbing and skiing
with family and friends.


I am from the water of pools, rivers, ponds, oceans and streams.
The sitting at 10 hour swim meets to swim a 2 minute race
 from kayaking in West Virginia to swimming in the pond.
From surfing at Sunset Beach for hours on end. 
I am from coaches and teammates encouraging me to do my best.
I am from love that expands past family,
To friends and neighbors and strangers I meet.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Survey

1. Do you enjoy English classes?  Why or why not?
I like english class because I like writing.  My favorite english class I have taken in high school has been Enriched American Stdies and I liked it because We did alot of reading and writing. 


2. What type of writing do you enjoy? 
 Recipes, Songs, Lists Notes from friends, Letters, Directions, Non- fiction, Autobiographies.


3. What types of things do you like to read?
Short stories, poetry, songs, notes from friends, letters, non-fiction, autobiographies, Interviews, magazines, news papers.


4. Are there any assignments that you've done in the past that you really despise? 
I don't like timed writing.


5. Which of these remarks come closest to the way you feel about reading?
 c.


6. Do you really enjoy classroom discussions? What about them do you enjoy or not enjoy? 
I really like class discussions with intelligent people.  I really don't enjoy having discussions with students who do not take school or the class siriously.


7.  During a class discussion do you talk alot?
If the discussion interestd me and I feel comfortable with the people in the classroom I will talk alot,  but I probably won't talk alot in this class cause I don't know that many people. 


8.  Extracurriculars? 
Waterpolo, swimming, running,  chior, church choir, read babysit and volunteer.  


9. What did you do over the weekend? 
I babysat and worked at the pool.  I read and graded papers with my mom.  I all last week I went to school with my mom and helped teach her class.


10. Anything else? 
I really struggle with reading, because I am minorly dislexic.  I take adiral and I'm terchnically on a 504 plan, although I don't really think I will you it very much in this class, because it mostly just applies to classes with alot of tests.


11.